Since I began studying Nordic Shamanism this past December, I’ve become rather captivated by the concept of initiation. By definition, an initiation is an experience beyond our control where an out-dated part of ourselves dies and is shed in order to create the space to take on a new identity, expanded sense of self, or greater clarity of purpose.
In general, I find that our culture adamantly avoids and denies the reality of change and death in all arenas of our lives, and certainly does not incorporate those themes into our story around a new life chapter beginning.
Instead, we like to celebrate what I would call thresholds. I think of thresholds as a moment of transition where we cross over from one way of being to another, without fully acknowledging the presence of change, loss, or growth that comes with the life transition. Thresholds are like initiation lite.
Though thresholds are valuable, simply focusing on and celebrating those alone leaves the heart of the true experience unacknowledged, and a significant opportunity is left unexplored.
Some common thresholds that come to mind are graduation, weddings, or baby showers. These each mark a significant change in a person’s life by gathering with community and celebrating the beginning of a new life phase.
The initiatory experiences I would link to these threshold moments would be the vulnerable task of applying to colleges and facing the possibility of rejection or acceptance, or the first significant argument with your partner, or the experience of going into labor and birthing a new human.
There is a weight to these initiatory experiences that leads to monumental shifts in our way of being. They require us to experience a loss of control, meet the unknown, and face our fears head on. These qualities are what distinguishes a threshold moment from an experience of initiation. Embracing these qualities is what distinguishes a sense of chaos and struggle from the feeling of being in a necessary, and ultimately, generative process.
Refining this distinction in my own mind has greatly shaped the way I meet and explore challenges and the inevitable changes that constantly arise in my own life. The last few months, specifically, have felt like a string of initiations. Each arising from and building upon the last. Each bringing me deeper into a process of death and release to make room for the new idea, vision, or feeling that is longing to be brought into existence.
I don’t think I would have met this particular phase of personal growth with as much flexibility, willingness, and curiosity as I have without the framework of viewing the struggle, pain, loss, and shifting landscapes of my life as an initiation.
This framework imbued my experience with a deeper sense of meaning and purpose as transformation within and around me took place.
It allowed me to remain more grounded in my body and more consistently regulated in my nervous system amidst uncertainty, fear, and change.
From this sense of regulation, I was able to be present to myself and the world around me, instead of defaulting to frantic grasping or the burden of shutting down in response.
And because of this enhanced ability to stay present during this personal time of struggle, I now find myself amidst an abundance of fruits from my effort. Through navigating the inner fire as an initiation, I now have expanded possibilities, deeper connections, and more clarity and support than I had even imagined were available to me.
Though it feels foreign in this new land, I feel resourced with an inner stability and a curiosity for exploring this new terrain. I also have the capacity to grieve and tend to that which was lost or has taken on new form during this time.
Viewing life as a perpetual initiation has gifted me resiliency. It’s been good medicine for me.
