World Peace as an Inside Job

Since the horrific fighting in the Middle East broke out, I’ve noticed an energetic shift wash over the collective. It reminds and reinforces the truth that we are all interconnected.

Despite my limited exposure to the news and most media, I feel the devastation in my bones. Sometimes I get lost in dead end thoughts like “why is this happening!?!” and despair envelopes me.

In other moments, when I can hold a larger perspective, I acknowledge that wars in the world will never cease until I, and a critical mass of other individuals, stop the wars we wage inside ourselves.

Working with this idea becomes more feasible when I begin to attend to the parts of myself that I have persecuted, ostracized, detained, locked out, squelched, silenced, and driven away.

Can I tenderly begin to look at the embarrassment of that mistake, the shame of that accident, the humiliation of that misunderstanding, and the attacks I wage on my own thoughts, feelings, and actions?

I understand there was an adaptive function that compelled me to exile these parts of myself. It allowed me to cope and survive in their silence.

In order for me to avoid the irrevocable change acknowledging them would thrust upon me, they had to remain unseen.

But my inner world is much more diplomatic and unshakable now, and I am ready to break bread with the parts that have been scorned, mistreated, and undervalued.

I ask myself, where do intolerance and righteousness live in me?

My Practice to tend the intolerable:

when I am in a grounded moment, I begin by imaging myself in a peaceful and safe location, which is usually the forest around my home. I then identify a memory, and the core emotion of the experience that feels like an untouchable or an outcast.

These are usually linked to a specific hurtful memory or an inner conflict I feel within myself about differing values or ideas I hold.

I invite that part of myself to come join me in the forest.

For me, these parts are usually in human form, but they may appear in another way to you.

I greet them warmly and take a moment to gauge their appearance and body language, which informs so much about their experience and what burdens they may be carrying. Mine are often bedraggled, timid, quiet or distrusting - many of the ways you’d expect a neglected person to appear and act.

I then ask what they call themselves and if we could take some time to chat. I find they are always happy to be seen and heard and are eager to be here with me.

I may ask them if there is anything they need to feel more comfortable and settled, if so I provide it for them. Anything is possible in our imaginations!

I invite them to share anything they want to express to me, or perhaps they have a meaningful message to bring me. I listen openly and attentively without judging their story or their reasoning.

I may ask them more questions, or sit in their presence quietly while I consider what they have shared with me.

When we have finished, I offer them my gratitude for all they have shared. I always feel a new level of respect and understanding for these parts, their experience, and why they act and appear the way they do.

Just like me, they all want a meaningful place at the table and to be included in the functional and life giving aspects of my inner world.

If it feels right, I may ask the part if they are ready to shift the way they participate in my inner community. I may offer suggestions on how their presence could be more supportive for my larger sense of purpose and my work in the world.

Through building a relationship with a part and coming to understand their strengths and vulnerabilities, I have always been able to uncover and apply their true and highest purpose in my life.

Through my care and consistent presence I am able to unveil their gifts shrouded by the scarlet letter I emblazoned on them to bring them back Home.

Sometimes they blossom and change right before my eyes, and sometimes they shift slowly as I continue to revisit them over a period of time. But always they shift and step into their own fullness and wellbeing, which serves my overall fullness and wellbeing.

Through this process, on many occasions, I have experienced deep moments of healing that have completely changed my life. I wish that this may offer you the same.

The people of the Middle East, and marginalized folks around the globe that are effected by the innumerable atrocities that plague humanity, are truly fighting for their lives. They are locked in the biological impetus to simply survive their situation as they wade through tremendous turmoil and grief.

Many of us, however, have the luxury of safety and stability in our daily lives, which makes it our responsibility at this time to call a cease fire on the wars we wage inside.

When you’re ready, I encourage you to begin exploring how to bring inner conflict to a resolution and unlock the astounding power of inner peace. Our efforts combined can change the world.

Three books that may serve your process:

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz, PhD - This book is the inspiration for the above practical contemplation and will likely alter your inner life in astounding ways.

Anchored by Deb Dana - This book will gently lead you into a deeper understanding of your nervous system and give you tools and practices to help you navigate through feelings of despair, grief, anger, and righteousness so you may meet the complexity of our world from an anchored and intelligent place.

Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships by Jason Gaddis - This book seeded invaluable skills that have allowed me to turn toward and reckon with conflict (internally and externally) in a way that becomes generative and transformative rather than destructive and destabilizing.

May we all have courage, love freely, and savor the simple joys in our lives. It truly matters in these times.